Well, clearly this thing isn't going my way.

Both clowns won last week, so I shall be brief.

They suck and apparently don't talk much because for the second week in a row, G and Currie have picked the same guy. He's a big one, too.


Gerard Gallagher (31) - Adam Scott, Vijay Singh, George McNeill, Robert Allenby, Troy Matteson, Luke Donald, Mike Weir, Retief Goosen, David Toms, Jesper Parnevik, Johan Edfors, Sergio Garcia, Lucas Glover, Phi Mickelson, Davis Love III, Carlos Franco, SCOTT VERPLANK, Geoff Ogilvy, John Rollins, ZACH JOHNSON, RORY SABBATINI


Kevin Currie (22) - David Toms, Davis Love III, Ryan Moore, David Duval, Jeff Quinney, Justin Leonard, Robert Allenby, HENRIK STENSON, Rich Beem, Sergio Garcia, Kenny Perry, Scott Verplank, K.J. Choi, Vijay Singh, Billy Andrade, Sean O'Hair, Shigeki Maruyama, Geoff Ogilvy, Steve Stricker, Stewart Cink, RORY SABBATINI.

Mediocrity (5) - Stuart Appleby, Rory Sabbatini, Scott Verplank, Robert Allenby, Justin Rose, Mike Weir, Adam Scott, Padraig Harrington, Carl Pettersson, Charles Howell III, Darren Clarke, David Howell, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tiger Woods, Davis Love III, Joe Durant, Shigeki Maruyama., Geoff Ogilvy, Vijay Singh, Henrik Stenson, Stewart Cink.

The Memorial

G - Tiger Woods - "Ballgame."
KC - Tiger Woods - "Can't hold him forever and with the Tiger cub coming, no telling where we'll see him after the U.S. Open."
JB - Zach Johnson - "I don't have anything to say considering my record."

Greetings from the deck as I am writing from beautiful, albeit windy, Sea Isle City, New Jersey. Enjoying a little pre Memorial Day break and I can't wait to get back to the grind. That was a joke in case you didn't know or if you have the sense of humor of a fire hydrant.

G collected another win then promptly reminded me that since I did this last year I have picked one winner in almost 18 months. He has two victories as the very Christian Zach Johnson went through Georgia like General Sherman in his prime.

Gerard Gallagher (21) - Adam Scott, Vijay Singh, George McNeill, Robert Allenby, Troy Matteson, Luke Donald, Mike Weir, Retief Goosen, David Toms, Jesper Parnevik, Johan Edfors, Sergio Garcia, Lucas Glover, Phi Mickelson, Davis Love III, Carlos Franco, SCOTT VERPLANK, Geoff Ogilvy, John Rollins, ZACH JOHNSON.

Kevin Currie (12) - David Toms, Davis Love III, Ryan Moore, David Duval, Jeff Quinney, Justin Leonard, Robert Allenby, HENRIK STENSON, Rich Beem, Sergio Garcia, Kenny Perry, Scott Verplank, K.J. Choi, Vijay Singh, Billy Andrade, Sean O'Hair, Shigeki Maruyama, Geoff Ogilvy, Steve Stricker, Stewart Cink.

Mediocrity (5) - Stuart Appleby, Rory Sabbatini, Scott Verplank, Robert Allenby, Justin Rose, Mike Weir, Adam Scott, Padraig Harrington, Carl Pettersson, Charles Howell III, Darren Clarke, David Howell, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tiger Woods, Davis Love III, Joe Durant, Shigeki Maruyama., Geoff Ogilvy, Vijay Singh, Henrik Stenson.

Colonial (I'm not going corporate and calling it that insane name now.)

G - Rory Sabbatini - "Gimme Sabbatini." So effusive and eloquent.
KC - Rory Sabbtini - "Nice record here and he's playing well."
JB - Stewart Cink - "Please win. Please. I wanted Cink last week, but it was impractical since Kevin picked him."

First, give Sean O'Hair some credit. He needed to make a move and unfortunately, it had to come at the 17th at Sawgrass. What killed him was how many missed putts he had on the back nine. It was a lot of money to be lost (and FedEx points, world ranking points, Presidents Cup points), but he's got loot, so it came down to being a professional athlete. My question is not why he went after the flag, it's that he used the wrong club to do it. With the blood pumping, pitching-wedge was the club, not nine-iron.

Secondly, Seve Ballesteros is joining the Champions Tour this week. I'm no big Seve guy, but he's missed so much time due to a back injury, it's anyone's guess how he'll do. My guess is that he doesn't threaten the top of a leaderboard anytime soon. The biggest misconception about the Champions Tour is that if you recognize the name, they will be a success. Crenshaw joined and hadn't won since the 1995 Masters. Strange's last victory was in 1989. Seve hasn't won in a decade so why would anyone expect him to do well? The other two have not won on the elder circuit.

Kevin Currie (12) - David Toms, Davis Love III, Ryan Moore, David Duval, Jeff Quinney, Justin Leonard, Robert Allenby, HENRIK STENSON, Rich Beem, Sergio Garcia, Kenny Perry, Scott Verplank, K.J. Choi, Vijay Singh, Billy Andrade, Sean O'Hair, Shigeki Maruyama, Geoff Ogilvy, Steve Stricker.

Gerard Gallagher (11) - Adam Scott, Vijay Singh, George McNeill, Robert Allenby, Troy Matteson, Luke Donald, Mike Weir, Retief Goosen, David Toms, Jesper Parnevik, Johan Edfors, Sergio Garcia, Lucas Glover, Phi Mickelson, Davis Love III, Carlos Franco, SCOTT VERPLANK, Geoff Ogilvy, John Rollins.

Mediocrity (5) - Stuart Appleby, Rory Sabbatini, Scott Verplank, Robert Allenby, Justin Rose, Mike Weir, Adam Scott, Padraig Harrington, Carl Pettersson, Charles Howell III, Darren Clarke, David Howell, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tiger Woods, Davis Love III, Joe Durant, Shigeki Maruyama., Geoff Ogilvy, Vijay Singh.

On to Sugarloaf

KC - Stewart Cink - "Gotta go with the best available."
GG - Zach Johnson - "The third best-known Zach behind Messrs. Braff and Morris."
JB - Henrik Stenson - "Top-ranked player in the field as I need a win."

Here is Tiger's response when asked about Rory Sabbatini's comments on Thursday:

"Well, if I remember the quote correctly, he said he likes the new Tiger. I figure I've won 9 out of 12 and I've won three times this year, the same amount he's won in his career, so I like the new Tiger, as well. "

That's as tough as the talking gets in golf right there. That is country-club trash talking.

Reminded me of the time when Stephen Ames thought he had a chance because Woods was driving the ball poorly at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship last year. Woods beat the crap out of him to the tune of 9 & 8 and when Woods was asked what he thought of Ames' comments, he said, "9 & 8."

Rory, by the way, dumped two balls into the soup at 17, made a quadruple-bogey and shot a 79. He is seven behind Mickelson and only two ahead of Tiger. If there is a God, hopefully Tiger and Rory get paired on Sunday when they aren't in the tournament and Woods beat him by 100.

Watching the Players and have a few things to say.

1.) Rory Sabbatini is repeatedly talking about how he wants to play with Tiger Woods in the final group becasue he thinks he can beat Woods. Hey clown, you did last week and he buried you. Rory, you are not even close to Tiger in any way. You're decent, but not even on the same planet as Tiger. Why would you provoke him like that? Has it ever worked? Stephen Ames challenged him at the Match Play last year and Tiger beat him 9 & 8. Rory, there's a reason 25% of PGA Tour players think you are the worst choice for a playing partner. That's a staggering number by the way.

Incidentally, as I write this, Rory just racked up his third straight bogey.

2.) This course is playing extremely tough right now as the leaders are coming back. Don't be shocked if Sean O'Hair and Peter Lonard are Saturday's final pairing.

3.) Woods is at the cut line right now at plus-four. He gets one more birdie, but doesn't threaten the leaderboard on the weekend. That's one bald man's opinion.

4.) Adam Scott told a story earlier in the week about Butch Harmon not charging him anything. I hope Mickelson got the same deal because he can't hit a ball straight. Lefty is in the lead at minus-four, but has found water and just missed the par-three eighth green left. In a vintage Mickelson move, he tried to hit a hybrid out of the sand at seven and the decision nearly knocked Nick Faldo out of the tower. Of course Mickelson made bogey, but his defense afterwards will be priceless.

5.) Are Australia and Texas the only places on the Earth that have wind? If you listen to a golf broadcast, you'd think that?

The fifth major (throwing up now) is ready this week.

Last week was a total wash with three Geoff Ogilvys and no dice.


Kevin Currie (12) - David Toms, Davis Love III, Ryan Moore, David Duval, Jeff Quinney, Justin Leonard, Robert Allenby, HENRIK STENSON, Rich Beem, Sergio Garcia, Kenny Perry, Scott Verplank, K.J. Choi, Vijay Singh, Billy Andrade, Sean O'Hair, Shigeki Maruyama, Geoff Ogilvy.

Gerard Gallagher (11) - Adam Scott, Vijay Singh, George McNeill, Robert Allenby, Troy Matteson, Luke Donald, Mike Weir, Retief Goosen, David Toms, Jesper Parnevik, Johan Edfors, Sergio Garcia, Lucas Glover, Phi Mickelson, Davis Love III, Carlos Franco, SCOTT VERPLANK, Geoff Ogilvy.

Mediocrity (5) - Stuart Appleby, Rory Sabbatini, Scott Verplank, Robert Allenby, Justin Rose, Mike Weir, Adam Scott, Padraig Harrington, Carl Pettersson, Charles Howell III, Darren Clarke, David Howell, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tiger Woods, Davis Love III, Joe Durant, Shigeki Maruyama., Geoff Ogilvy.

"Playas" Championship

KC - Steve Stricker - "Not much of a record here, but sure is playing well right now."
GG - John Rollins
JB - Vijay Singh - "This is where I get into the winner's circle."

First, all PGA Tour players talking about Phil Mickelson getting special treatment last week for not getting booted from the tournament for not playing in the pro-am, shut up. Is this your first experience with preferential treatment? Didn't you see the class system in high school?

Did Phil get a special pass? Probably, but since I hate that pro-am rule, I don't care.

Now we have our second winner as G capitalized on Scott Verplank's dream title. Whatever.

Kevin Currie (12) - David Toms, Davis Love III, Ryan Moore, David Duval, Jeff Quinney, Justin Leonard, Robert Allenby, HENRIK STENSON, Rich Beem, Sergio Garcia, Kenny Perry, Scott Verplank, K.J. Choi, Vijay Singh, Billy Andrade, Sean O'Hair, Shigeki Maruyama.

Gerard Gallagher (11) - Adam Scott, Vijay Singh, George McNeill, Robert Allenby, Troy Matteson, Luke Donald, Mike Weir, Retief Goosen, David Toms, Jesper Parnevik, Johan Edfors, Sergio Garcia, Lucas Glover, Phi Mickelson, Davis Love III, Carlos Franco, SCOTT VERPLANK.

Mediocrity (5) - Stuart Appleby, Rory Sabbatini, Scott Verplank, Robert Allenby, Justin Rose, Mike Weir, Adam Scott, Padraig Harrington, Carl Pettersson, Charles Howell III, Darren Clarke, David Howell, Jose Maria Olazabal, Tiger Woods, Davis Love III, Joe Durant, Shigeki Maruyama.

Should be simple this week for the Wachovia Championship. All three of us are taking Geoff Ogilvy.